Jailhouse Letter (02-02-07)

I had my wife post this letter because in our sufferings we sometimes have bruised hearts and bent shoulders from the constant weight and pressure of our stress. I suspect that you are the same in this. Wanting to encourage and strengthen my wife I wrote this to take her to the high place of our calling. No less do I desire this for those of you who are struggling to trust God through this difficult trial. May it also bless and encourage you when your internal compass identifies the truth it contains. God’s blessings upon you all!

Well my love I’m in that place again where I must ask you to lead me your ear. Even as I write my skin is tingling with excitement, my heart is skipping in wonder and my eyes are tearing with awe. How do I really describe what happened to me? Please be patient with me as I try to find the words. My day started like the hundreds of my incarceration. The only exception being the absence of my celly who went to court. You know how I cherish these rare moments of solitude. I spent the morning pacing the floor praying for all our needs, the trial, and for wisdom and guidance. After pouring my heart out I worshipped the Lord.

After lunch I laid upon my rack; just tried to quiet my spirit. Outside my window was the first day that didn’t seem like winter in a long time. The sun and sky were bright. I had the lights on to do a little reading of the scripture. My eyes became heavy and I took a nap. When I awoke (I think) all was the same (maybe). I was staring at the ceiling when suddenly the lights went out. At first it appeared a normal power outage until the darkness consumed my cell. The outside window became dark as coal even darker than night. I have never experienced a darkness so heavy I was literally wearing it. There was no light, I was blind. I became very afraid. One never really knows how much light and sight are appreciated until they are gone.

Time got a little distorted here because I do not know how long this darkness enveloped me. It may have been brief but felt like forever. I continued my glance forward which was up towards the unseen ceiling. I reached to touch it and it was there which brought a slight comfort by familiarity. Then a very bright bead of light began to appear. Very small like a star billions of miles away. Oh the hope that little light brought to a man who suddenly lost the world he’d known. It began to grow in size and brightness like the star was approaching. Soon (I think) it was about the size of my face. As I peered into it I realized there was a world inside it. This approaching light was the brightness of another world gleaming through an open porthole doorway or dimension.

This is where it gets strange, if it hasn’t already. As it got to the size of a doorway it was no longer above me but around me. I was standing in a bright new world. It looked like our world but brighter colors like our world was covered by those florescent highlighters. Can you imagine fields of grass with each bade calling your attention? That is what it was like. As I entered this world I found my feet upon a descending path. I took it as a natural lead and descended cautiously.

Soon I came upon a narrow gate in what appeared to be a large parcel of private fenced-in property. At the gate was a plaque with an inscription that read, “This small seed upon this shelf if swallowed without a doubt will open this gate for you but for no one else.” I looked closer and there appeared to be a very small mustard seed on a very small tray protruding out of the plaque. There was only one and I was surprised it would still be there considering the wind or the birds. The path only went through this gate and though I wasn’t certain of the meaning of this riddle I did not see any other course to take and I did not sense any danger in that seed. What troubled me a little was “without a doubt” what did this mean? I tried to reason this out but that just sent my mind reeling through a thousand doubts. Finally something inside me said, “knock it off” and I quickly picked up the seed and swallowed it. At that moment the gate opened on its own and I stepped through. As I passed the gate closed and on the back was another inscription, which read “Enjoy this land without a doubt or you may find yourself quickly out of this treasure meant for you,” “without a doubt” troubled me again but I did realize the gate had opened so I must have done something right. “Treasure” was a nice word to associate with “meant for you.”

A hope began to well up inside of me that proportionately displaced the dread of my existence, my cell, my world. I continued down the path. Shortly to my left was an enormous and obviously ancient Banyan tree whose tentacles had grown into at least a thousand trunks. All around it appeared to be sheets of black glass or polished onyx. As I approached I discovered they were small ponds or large puddles. I could not tell exactly how deep they were because they were bottomed by a blackness as dark as the beginning of this journey. The water had a pureness even a scent of pureness if this is possible. It was also very unique in that the water had a luster of a brilliant refined silver. The result of the contrast in these pools was a perfect mirror. They were placid and I could see every detail of my face as I knelt to look into one. They were of various shapes and sizes but there was enough land coursing through them that each could be inspected if desired.

Some of the banyan trunks went straight into these pools. These looked as healthy as those that found soil. On the largest and probably the original trunk someone had carved into the bark, like we would “KJ & DJ” inside a heart, the word “Memory.” The first pond I looked into made me a little younger than the reflection I recalled in the mirrors of our world. Then I looked in a second and saw a little boy version of me. I got startled and fell backward into the first pond. I’ve always had this kind of luck around water. I ended up completely submerged. I swam back to the surface and there you were leaning over the pier with your hand extended to help me out of the water. You were laughing. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen your face radiating so much joy. Right then my heart became heavy and I sank before I reached your hand. I again swam to the surface but this time it was the pond I fell in. Wow that memory of lake Chabot now had joy and pain.

I pulled myself out and realized these pools were reflections of my memories. I was not certain if I cared to see anymore after that experience. Lake Chabot was a pristine memory until it got attached to out long season of suffering through this pond. What would happen to my other memories? Even with this hesitation curiosity prevailed and I glanced into many others maintaining my footing on solid ground. To my surprise some reflections had me older than I recalled. Had I died and my whole life had passed under this ancient tree was the thought I had.

I decided to jump into one of these elder pools to see if the memory was past like the first one. Splash! Head first I went into this. That was kind of dumb I realized later because there was no way of determining the depth of any of these bodies of water by the eye. Anyway I never hit bottom and swam to the surface. As I surfaced I found myself walking hand and hand with you on a beach at lake Geneva. It was night and the lights of our hotel were glowing on the water surface. The moon was like a giant flashlight with its beam focused on the peak of the Matorhorn. You were talking about the finalization of your script for the movie production. What caught my attention was how you incorporated your survival of our current trial into the main character. This was definitely the future for we had never been to Switzerland together and you spoke of our present in past tense. We walked to the front of the hotel on the cobblestone street to a little vending cart where an elderly woman was selling chocolate caramelled apples. You got so excited like a little girl at Disney World. It was really cute. Of course we bought one for each of us. At my first bite I was again swimming to the surface of the pool.

As I emptied myself I was filled with such a hope. Our future did not have me doing life in prison or have us apart. We survived our trial! I peered into many other pools but was tempted by one where my hair was all grey. Splash! Feet first this time. I swam to the surface and joined you by a very large campfire on the shore of Lake Titicaca in Peru. A small native Indian man about 5’2” 125 lbs. was painting our faces with war paint and telling us the story of a leviathan that lived in the lake and at every full moon comes out to search out the eyes of the locals. As his giant eyes glare into yours he searches your soul for courage or fear. If he finds courage he will bless you with greater courage and if he finds fear he will bless you with greater fear. The Indian was preparing us to see these eyes. Shortly leviathan of unthinkable mass, fierce weaponry, and irresistible will was going to exit the lake. The person with the greatest amount of fear was his meal. We were there to brave this; like we haven’t had enough test of our courage. The Indian gave us a local herbal drink that he said would give us the heart of a warrior, which is how he painted us up. This tradition was hundreds of years old and how the locals measured the weak and strong of their society. Some people saw this as an opportunity to overcome their fears while some almost became insane with panic. There is a leviathan in every culture I guess. The Indian said when you hear the fish jumping out of his way leviathan was on his hunt. The fire obscured our view of the lake but we could hear the still nothingness behind the crackling of firewood. More detail was flowing from our guide when suddenly like the explosion of a symphony upon our ears fish were jumping all over the lake in all directions.

You gripped my hand tightly and again I was swimming to the surface of the pool. You would think I would be possessed by that lust of knowing that drives people to psychics and horoscopes but it was not the case. I got enough information to send my hope soaring, which satisfied me. Infact I now call those pools of hope. For me it was time to leave and continue down the path. Knowing my hope was not vanity was my life not the experiences I walk through. I continued down the path with wonders everywhere I looked, too many to list. There were dancing trees that had feathered bells perched in them. As they flew from branch to branch they would ring the tune the trees danced to. There were waterfalls that did not make a rainbow in the mist created by their crashing but fell in all seven colors. Things like this all around. I walked on I must admit a little like a zombie dazed by a world more awesome than self-awareness.

At this point the music of a lute pricked me back to consciousness. It appeared to be coming from a cave near a large field of daffodils. They were pale yellow but glowed on their stems like those lightning bugs in the Midwest. As I got closer the music was definitely coming from the cave. Once at the entrance I heard a little ditty clearly. “Mulberry tree planted in the sea. How can this be? Surely this can be done without a doubt if the Lord does call it out. Increase our faith, increase our faith.” In the pause I inserted a “Hello, Hello, may I come in?” The music had ceased and I heard “Enter stranger.” To my surprise there was a faun playing a lute like a stand-up bass. Upon seeing me he asked, “What is your name stranger,” “Kurt” I replied. “I’ve heard of you.” “You have?” “Yes the Lord talks of all those who pass through the narrow gate.” We talked for awhile and he took me outside. He said “look at those daffodils what color do you see?” “Yellow” “Do you know the power of faith can make that which is not become. What is your favorite color?” “Purple” I’m talking with a faun I thought before his response. “Have you ever seen a purple daffodil?” “No I don’t think they exist.” “In your world they don’t but in the world of faith if you don’t doubt anything is possible. Turn to this field and bring me a purple daffodil.” “How do I do such a thing when they are all yellow?” “Speak to them in the name of the Lord and do not doubt and whatever color you tell them to be they will be.” “In the name of Christ let me see purple daffodils.” Instantly the field was purple. “Pink” “White” “Red” no matter what color I said they changed. This made me laugh in a nervous sort of way.

Then the faun returned to the cave to obtain his lute. He pointed to a distant mountain range and said, “Do you see that tunnel?” I could but barely. “This is where we must go. I have a couple more things to teach you before you enter the deepest part of this land.” I felt this was an understatement, I was doing nothing but learning. We walked and talked and he played many little clever rhymes and ditties. The entrance to the tunnel had two large oak trees one on each side. There was a small lake with ducks, geese, and swan, a park with gazebo, and there was an easel with a painting of you. He, the faun, asked me “who is this?” Wow was I surprised, what a beautiful painting you looked so regal. “That is my wife,” I said in a proud tone. We sat in the park and he took his lute and began to play and sing. He had a clear smooth voice but a vibrato that was distinctly goat. I don’t know how else to describe it and I don’t think you’ll imagine what it’s like until you’ve been sung to by a faun. He began “Love men think they know. Oh how much deeper this root can grow. What God joins becomes one flesh, how can it be separated? Tell me where one begins and where one ends. The word was spoken by it, the breath of life was given by it, men are sustained by it, and the master is full of it. This is love, this is love!” As he sang this many animals gathered round us. In the oak were tow lovebirds singing to each other. They hopped towards each other until they could kiss. When they did they became one pure white dove that flew down onto my shoulder and coo cooed into my ear. Which was translated in my spirit “The greatest Love Story Ever told is about to unfold.” There was also a great black stallion that was courting a solid white mare. As soon as he mounted her from behind a large Harlequin black and white stallion was in their place.

Many other things like this happened I think proving the words of the song. The faun seeing the bewilderment upon my face let out a burst of laughter. It struck me funny too so I laughed until I cried and my sides hurt. Then upon gaining our composure he said I have one last lesson for you. “Look at the lake tell me what you see.” Well the lake was now a sea of millions of red marbles and two blue ones on opposite ends from each other. “What are these?” I asked. “The red marbles are the people of the world you live in and the blue ones are you and your wife.” I felt sad at this since there was a huge gulf between us. We went to the edge and he placed the blue marble in my hand and said, “shoot this over to your wife.” You can’t imagine what an impossible task this was. There was no way I could produce enough thrust to move all the red marbles out of the way or to toss it over them. My heart got heavy and the faun said to me “have you forgotten the words of my song or the daffodils so quickly?” He was right I was doubting. “Lord what you join becomes one flesh part this red sea and bring me to my destiny.” Instantly these red marbles parted leaving a clear smooth path right to you. I took the shot and when our marbles met they became one larger blue marble. There was no more you or me just a oneness. Upon seeing this the faun said “you must now go through this tunnel, the tunnel of Love, where on the other side there is a very old man named time who has a white beard as long as my lute.” Just then when he said the man’s name I realized I never got the faun’s name. “Before I go can I ask you your name. I’m sorry I was so rude to have forgotten this.” “No problem lad my name is Kinsman.” “That’s an interesting name.” Yes I was named to display the faith work of our master. He by His faith became one flesh with you men. He was the scapegoat removing the burden of your sins and also lived out as a perfect man. That is why I can sing of His faith and how you came here. Enough of me though time has much to teach you. Be on your way.”

I began my passage through the tunnel, which was about 300 yards in length. When I got to the other side it was a twin of the previous park with oaks, lake and gazebo. Meandering slowly towards me (I mean very slowly like he was being dragged against his will) was Mr. Time. He was old and white but not wrinkly like the vending lady in Geneva. He was like Kinsman described him. I must admit a little impatience so I consumed most of the distance between us. “Hello Kurt” “Hello how did you know my name?” “When you entered the gate I was appointed time and her you are. Kinsman I’m assured has taught you well but there is much for you still to learn. Join me at the easel.” This time there was no picture of you. I asked him “why is this canvass blank?” He responded, “you have not told me what you expect to see there.” I’m not sure what he meant by this but I didn’t question any further. He handed me one of those cardboard cones cheerleaders use as bullhorns and said to me, “proclaim your love to this canvass through this horn.” This would have been a strange request in our world but not here, not after all that had happened to me. I eagerly picked up the cone pointed to the canvas and poured my heart out. Nothing happened but the joy of expression. Then Mr. Time took the cone from me and peeled it open. In his hands it became an artist palette with some amazing colors. He took out a brush and said, “Let me see what I can do with these words.” The canvas was becoming the masterpiece my first words had envisioned. Your picture on the other side of the tunnel was grand but this one moved me in an amazing way. In the center was you and I in our wedding vestments embracing and kissing. Above us was the most magnificent clouds that had the colors of fire coursing through them. They formed a shadowy face but very clear-pursed lips that were kissing our heads. Also the hands of God were clearly cupped around our backsides gently coddling us and also pushing us together. “That’s from my words?” “Of course out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” he responded.

I couldn’t help but think this trial had blessed my love, our love, with a richness unfathomable at the beginning. Only seeing this picture could make this thought clear. I was awed! Time took me from the park, again we moved painfully slow, down another path. All his words were profound and he was always teaching. We came across an apple tree in blossom near a chocolate river that had caramel vines coursing around it. We stopped and time addressed me. “This is the land of faith, hope, and love. Here God is teaching you how they work. Now I want you to view this tree with the eyes of hope and tell me what you see.” “I see blossoms which gives me hope of fruit in the future.” “Very well, now view it with your eyes of faith, remember the marbles, the gate, and the daffodils.” “I see a tree that can supply me fruit anytime I need or desire it if I do not doubt and ask in the name of the Lord.” “That is good.” Time said. “Now think of your wife and tell me what your eyes of love see.” It came to me instantly. “I see a tree that has its roots nourished by chocolate is wrapped in caramel and will produce chocolate caramelled apples when ever my love desires one.” All I could think of when saying this was that excited little girl in Geneva.

“Now you see that faith, hope, and love are great but the greatest of these is love. How much more is the love of our creator disposed toward you?” Just the thought of this made me see love from a completely new vastness. It overwhelmed me and I cried. Partly from the sense of being loved so well and partly how I thought this would benefit our love. “Very well, you are a quick study now I have a surprise about me to share. Do you see that castle upon that hill?” “Yes” “How far walking journey do you suppose that is for you?” “3 days” I answered. “How far for me?” He asked. Before I answered I thought time sure marches slowly how do I answer honestly without offending. “Oh I’d say about a week.” “You’re very generous” You bet I am another silent thought. “Actually I’ll be there and back in 10 minutes. There is an ancient scroll and a compass I must obtain for you from there. After I have grabbed them we’ll go to my cottage over there (he pointed) to have dinner. Are you hungry?” I hadn’t thought about it but I was. “Yes” “Very well I’m off!” Boy was he, he took off in a start like Mercury. I had no idea time could move so fast. I figured from this that in the world of faith, hope, and love time wasn’t bound to the normal cadence he would possess in our world, but was free here to go at any pace needed or necessary.

When he returned we went to his cottage, which was really quaint one room with a potbelly stove slash furnace. He placed the scroll and compass on the table and had me sit down. We talked of the Lord and the needle of the compass would point to the one speaking. “This is definitely not a magnetic compass” I said and questioned, “what kind of compass is this?” “It is the compass of truth and is a great tool when in the world since truth keeps you from vain hope, inspires an honest faith and love rejoices in truth.” In essence I thought this was some ancient lie detector, a useful tool for sure.

Now the scroll was not that large, had writing on both sides of it, and was in some language I’d never seen in our world. “Do you know what this says?” I asked “Sure” he responded. “But before we get to these words you must eat this scroll, this is your dinner.” I don’t think I had ever been satisfied in my hunger by words but I did recall the scripture that man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Maybe this was my lesson. He opened it so I could only see one side and told me to swallow it. I did as I was told and the flavor was sweeter than honey and so delightful that to swallow it was a real depravation of joy, but swallow it I did. Within seconds I had an upset stomach, which got more and more agitated until the urge to vomit could no longer be resisted. It came upon me so quickly that I wretched the scroll up right back on the table. “Wow that was quick” Time said. “You mean that was supposed to happen? What kind of dinner or lesson is this?” “Don’t worry it only happens the first time. Try it again you will see.” I didn’t want to but I did it anyway. I did notice he turned it over before I ate it to expose the other words. This time it was disgustingly bitter to the taste. Not like a lemon but like gall or bile. Like a raw oyster I swallowed it in a hurry. Unlike before my stomach had a warmth and comfort like warm milk and a total fullness of satisfaction. “How is that, better?” “Yes, much” I proclaimed. “Why did I have this reaction to this scroll?” He began with a sober look upon his face. “The creator wrote these ancient words upon this scroll long before He created your kind. He gave you a freewill because He wanted your free devotion of trust and love. This was His desire far before your world was thrust into darkness. The first you ate was love which is always sweet to the taste but if not combined with trust will knot up in your stomach and become foul. Trust on the other hand is always bitter at first because it appears risky but when delivered with love satisfies completely. Learn from this that the two can never truly exist apart from the other without some disruption to you. Your patriarch Adam when he lost his trust of God automatically gained love for self.” The truth of this gave me the same satisfaction in my gut and was confirmed by the compass.

“Let us go outside there is one more thing for you to learn then your end with time here is over.” I wondered who I’d meet next. We went outside to what was my blind side of the cottage from how I made my entrance. There was what appeared to be one of those shrub mazes using Junipers. Time explained, “This maze has four correct doors you must pass through to get to the center. Each door will open by the placement of one of these silver coins into the slot.” He pulled out 5 coins from a purse. “Hey those are pure silver Morgan dollars from my world.” “Yes they appear to be and silver is the price of redemption.” “Redemption of what?” I asked. “In this case the picture from the park is in the center and if you make it there you get to keep it. You will also notice I gave you an extra coin as a measure of grace in case you make a wrong turn.”

Desire rose up in me more than I could measure. I never thought for a moment before this that I could possess that painting. No greater gift could I imagine. He handed me the coins and I was off. The junipers were prickly enough to keep me walking in the center of the path and removed any temptation to see if I could cheat by passing through them. Shortly in my trek I came across my first junction. There were three little girls one in front of each door and each with a broken right arm. They looked like triplets in appearance. Their arms were bent at about a thirty degree angle and needed a splint or cast for sure. I approached a little queasy. They all said in harmony “can you help us? We tried to get out of the way of the slamming doors when you entered but each of us had the same accident.” Then the girl farthest left began “We have heard of you and your great faith, kindness and other virtues. Please look after me in accordance with your great character.” The middle girl was completely different. She began “Sir my life was going fine until you caused my injury. Right behind you there is a first aid kit with a splint in it. Please take responsibility for my troubles and purchase those supplies.” It appeared that I would have to use one of my coins to obtain the supplies but I could only mend one. The last girl spoke briefly “Sir we all have the same injury but you must select one.” I was moved by all three but something in my gut drew me more to the last one. I reasoned I was given the extra coin for this purpose and I would just have to be perfect to complete this course. I used a coin and began to aid the last girl. As I did the first girl ridiculed me, called me foolish and other things of this ilk. The middle girl got rude and condemning. After my work I had to use a coin for the door. I went through and there was a plaque with this quote “Flattery is selfish, guilt is lavish and compassion stay within her need.” This and hindsight made me think I made the right choice.

I continued to the next junction. Again there was three choices this time three grown men. They all said together “the wealthiest man in our land invited us to a dinner party.” The man on the left had a gorgeous tuxedo on and said “I am sure to please in my best attire.” The middle man had a well worn suit and tie combo. He said, “I am ready to attend in my best attire.” The guy on the right had a bright pink tuxedo (remember those highlighters) and he said “there will be many great men there dressed in black I did not think it wise to compete for their glory. I have dawned my good apparel.” Then they said together “this door bars our way please open it with your coin.” I chose the middle man and walked through. The plaque here said, “Pride adorns himself well but not nearly as well as false humility and neither as well as honesty.” Again I felt I made the right choice. 2 coins left and 2 for 2. I felt certain I’d get that painting. I hoped these choices didn’t get any tougher.

A little further in and my next junction. This time only two. There was an elderly woman who looked like everyone’s grandmother and there was a lady young and so stunningly beautiful I was stopped in my tracks. I could hardly take my eyes off her. Together they said, “A simple hug is all we need” though I only saw the beauty’s lips moving. I so much wanted to hug her but it seemed too easy. I hugged grandma. Deposited my coin and passed through. This plaque said “Lust will hold you with one embrace while affection embraces you.” Again I thought I’d made the right choice.

Finally I came upon the last set of doors with one coin left. There were two men. One dressed in all white suit, white shoes, white teeth with a broad smile and slick hair. The other looked rugged like a farmer. They both had a donation pot in front of them like the Salvation Army kind-of. Together they said, “The Lord has need of your last coin.” I responded, “then how will I pass this last door?” The farmer said, “You won’t.” Smiles said “For your donation to the Lord I will give you this token it is a silver clad coin with “King of Kings” inscribed on the front and the scripture of the widow’s offering from Mark 12:41-44 on the back. I have personally blessed this token. You will find this token will open the door as your coin. For surely God is a debtor to no man and whatever door He opens no one can shut.” Wow one keeps me going and one ends here but I felt it was the opposite of the obvious. I donated my coin to the farmer hoping for a surprise to get me to that painting. There was no surprise and no apologizes. It was over.

I walked back out a little dejected I’ll admit. I made it back to the cottage where time awaited me. I told him “I’m confused. I’m certain I made all the right choices and I did not get my prize.” “What do you mean? What could be a better prize than making all the right choices?” He had a point but I still said, “I agree but my expectation was on the painting it was stunning and beyond words.” “Don’t be silly the painting was your words and you can recreate it anytime you say so. You never need the maze to obtain the painting only to verify your right choices.” See what I mean by always learning something? Then he said to me “I want you to rest a little with your eyes open before you go on. Try this hammock.”

I hopped in a hammock between two trees and looked to the sky. Do you believe I was so enamored by this world I had never noticed the sky until now. Time said, “Our night is about to begin keep your eyes open.” Shortly night came but not gradually like a shutter of a camera. The sky was night but not black more a polished bronze. There were stars at best guess that appeared to be one billion for every one of ours and still there was just as much vastness of space between them. I asked time “I don’t recognize any of these stars does my world happen to be among any of them?” Just then he let out such a side splitting laugh that I had to laugh also though I didn’t no about what. Finally he got his composure. “Do you remember that seed you swallowed to enter here?” “Yes” “That was your world. The world of Faith, Hope, and Love could never be contained in your world anymore than the creator could be contained in this world.” “What do you mean?” I asked. “All those stars including our land which you’ve seen are part of a mobile that hangs on His front porch. When you are done with time you will be invited into the master’s home and though you will be His guest forever you shall never make a complete tour of His dwelling.

This was hard to swallow because it overwhelmed my reason and imagination. I asked for some clarification “If my world is so small in comparison to this land of faith, hope and love that it appears a seed how can I reconcile my relationship here with my world?” Now I saw a very fatherly expression come upon time’s face as he replied “It appeared to you at the beginning of your trip here that the light was expanding around you but in reality the darkness of your world shrinks back from faith, hope, and love. You may remain a citizen here the remainder of your days upon your world. Think of it this way; in your world they have deep sea divers who enter their dark pressure filled world but as a foreigner or an alien. They are tethered to the world above by their lifeline. They do their work in the dark world but live in the light and life of the world above.” This made it more clear. He continued, “you have done well here and I would like to give you a gift.” At that he went into the cottage and returned with the compass of truth and handed it to me. He said “you may find this a useful tool in your deceitful world. You should take your rest and I will see you again soon.” I did rest and was very contemplative and who could do otherwise. There was myriads of thought passing so rapidly through my brain that fatigue did take me over. On that hammock the light of the bronze darkness departed with the closing of my eyelids.

When I awoke a flash of light was before my eyes that quickly disappeared into the darkness. It was that blanketing darkness and blindness I felt before. Then my celly turned on the lights and I was back on my rack in the cell. He said, “Boy, you were sleeping good.” He had no idea. I had started a fast on February 1st for the whole month. It was breakfast and my celly kept saying, “come on dude its time to break your fast.” “Not yet I’m just getting started,” I replied. “How long are you going to go dude? I thought you were going to start eating March 1st.” “I am” I replied. “Well get out of bed then dude it’s the first.” I checked by the morning news and sure enough it was. The world I visited being so much more vast than ours must have different time than here. Time here moved as fast as he did to the castle. I began to think this was the most incredible dream and I remembered every detail until I came back into the cell and on the table was the compass pointing to my Bible. I got so excited I wrote this letter to you in just a few hours. My darling I think there is something about time passing quickly if we stay in the world of faith, hope and love that is very profound. Just maybe our trial which has dragged on now near these two years shall pass to its finish in the timing of the world above. Let it be so because I love you and long for your embrace.

P.S. I had placed this letter in an unsealed envelope to insert something else and threw it onto the table and immediately the compass pointed towards it. I picked it up the letter to add this postscript and the compass vanished. I was so disappointed I wanted to show it to you at visiting. Hopefully the truth of this text will speak for itself. I prayed and asked God why this gift and then its loss. The answer came instantly the compass was just to show you visually what already exists inside you by the Holy Spirit that is how you were able to make all the right choices in the maze and now you need to trust that internal compass to make your final right choices to over come the evil darkness that has you under pressure in your trial. This dream (I think) made me desire even more to stay tethered to my lifeline and to be in this world but not of it. It is my hope by sharing it with you that you likewise will be inspired.