Herlong – He Longer (12-04-08)

Today I entered into a new territory. December 3rd was the day that equaled my first incarceration. It appears this journey is exceeding my preparatory work. There is a truth that remains and part of my fight with the retards. The gospel message is not one of the renewal of man but rather his death and recreation. I recently went through an exercise where I was tracking on a whisper I heard pass through my spirit. It led me to a conclusion though I’ll admit I never received an “Amen.” I did wrestle and reason that this whisper was from God. Once I came to this understanding my faith had to attach. The one drawback in my confidence was the lack of “Amen.” Now those of you who are sons, joint heirs with Christ know the confidence of the relationship. Even at a whisper God’s voice can be trusted. I struggled with God on why a whisper and why no “Amen.” When it was all said and done it was revealed to me as an exercise in dependence. This is the age old battle and for this reason will always remain fresh. Adam in the garden was provided choice by God’s proximitry placement of two fruit bearing trees before him. One was a tree of life that by its nature would leave Adam innocent and dependent. The other was the tree of knowledge of good and evil which would open to Adam a human life of a base understanding at the expense of life. He could be independent but must now die since the choice and the trees were mutually exclusive. Living by the spirit today eating of the fruit which is Christ does take away our ability to make certain choices in that we are now a body dependent on the head. The alternative is independence with a certain ethical calculator with the exclusion of Christ. This independent spirit like our forefather’s is preceded by the whisper of temptation. How easily I have submitted to this whisper. Now because the temptation whisper caters to my independence I offer no argument. The whisper of God forces me to be dependent because of the uncertainty inherent to my knowledge. Yet as a son I must ask myself how come I am not so easily moved by God’s whisper. As a son I want to be dependent on my Father. Though these lessons are hard because one wants to look at oneself when uncertainty is a reality this is a whisper of a temptation that must be avoided. Christ will keep you in His way and these trials are evidence. He is constantly pruning that independent spirit. One should look to the tree of life and not their knowledge of good and evil to solve the confusion. Was this not the story (personal) of Jonah? He even as a prophet still needed to be dependent on God. With the great fish deliverance he still got mad over the worm eaten bush. Maturity is not some moment you hit in time but a time for all times. Make the choice of life. It could mean financial ruin, loss of everything treasured, mockery and the like but it still is life. If you analyse the retards they are full of their knowledge. They don’t have to depend on God to judge me or Dorean they already have a working knowledge of good and evil. They delight in those who share their idea and condemn those that don’t. No one can rebuke them for promoting another gospel than the true one because they have God as an appendage in their independence. They are convinced the old man can be improved with a little polish until he is a good guy. Christ is a good guy, even a perfect model. Death is the part of the equation they can’t accept because they know they are too good for that. There is a difference in my confidence and theirs. Even in my lack of confidence my hope is certain in that my eyes are fixed on Christ. I can boldly state that Dorean was of God, not because it was good or bad but because its origin came out of our relationship. Retards cannot know what I know because when they chose the knowledge of good and evil they were banned from the tree of life. Those were the rules to Adam and remain intact today. You have never heard me profess perfection or merit only dependence. Scott and I were given a trust in Christ to use our lives for His service. This is how we were trained not to assert ourselves in your trust. Not one soul has ever testified we abused our trustee position. Though my trials continue longer than my prior experience my dependence on Christ is the best virtue I can offer to the clients. Independence would have me look out for Kurt, take a deal, even betray friends and clients. Dependence has me patiently enduring until the one I’m depending upon is finished. What is He waiting for? You’ll have to have a relationship with Him to get this answer. Phase one will repost tomorrow.