I have been accused all along of a selfish evil intent. Dorean has been vilified as my tool of self interest. This is easy to profess but can it be proven?
I am about at that time in this exercise where the appeal is finalized as to content. There is a particular issue I can raise which guarantees me a loss of 20 years from my 25 year sentence. The Supreme Court precedent is convincingly clear. The problem with the appellant court is they have a primary goal to keep and secure the conviction. They have no requirement to address, examine, or rule on all the issues you raise. They are notorious at taking the path of least resistance to their goal.
That means I am faced with a serious decision. If I raise this argument I will win. Everyone else will lose. The conviction will be affirmed and I will be immediately released from prison. Any issue not raised in the appeal is forever waived. That includes this winning issue.
If I was as self interested as my critics condemn me, would I again miss such a great opportunity of self interest? How long will it take before enough contrary evidence overcomes the lie? I will not present this issue at great personal risk for truth’s sake and your sake. If I lose on my other issues I get the pleasure of wearing all 25 years. What would 20 years make you do? Until you can reconcile your choices with mine you will not know how to judge me aright.
Even as I write this I am so far removed from my past that my memories have blurred. So far isolated from my hopes that my imaginations are blinded. Finalized resolution is a temptation screaming into my hearing sense with such vigor “take the sure route.” Adding that weight I still shall not move from the course of faith set before me.
I am preserving myself but in love. In doing so I am free to preserve your interest which harbors in love also. Many will never understand a post as this. Only those who love a cross more than life itself can find the life they are losing. A paradox for sure and an uninterrupted parable to the soul that appeals to thyself.