This trial lingers. I am now approaching my 6th full year of incarceration. All my expectations turn into disappointments. I feel like this will never end. I even have doubts my marriage will survive this event. I just desire for all this to Passover.
This is the human Passover but God’s Passover experience teaches us truth. In God’s Passover a lamb died or a firstborn died. In Adam we are all firstborns into sin and death. Either God’s lamb dies and we apply His blood or we die. Feelings mean nothing. In Egypt the firstborn was in the house, the blood was outside the house. He did not see it. In the story it was God’s sight that mattered. God said “if I see the blood I will Passover”. Your sight, your feelings on the matter didn’t matter.
This is where Natorial dissent and his ilk and I will never find accord between us. He only trusted in his feelings and sight. All his judgments concerning Dorean and I are a simpleton cursory look into his own human limitations.
God said I have victory. God said my enemies will stumble into their own nets, God said my marriage will suffer but has kingdom purpose. God said I will be the one sought out for the gifts and wisdom He’s given me. God said to found Dorean. God said to trust Him. He never said a thing about trusting my feelings. He posted all these promises on the doorpost of my heart with the blood of His lamb my feelings that are locked inside have no performance involvement. God looks upon His promises to perform them and no matter how I feel about it I trust that blood upon my door as a fact. In Alsup’s court facts don’t matter and feelings perceptions influenced by rhetoric are given the weight of law but in God’s court facts are all that matter. Christ is the substance of all Passovers. Including this trial I face. There is power in the blood of the lamb. I believe the songs say’s “wonder working power”.