Myself 5-12-10

It is so easy to lose thyself in difficult trials. Yet if men would only learn God is always honoring the self in complete providence. There is a self we are called to be and that being can only be found in Christ. Kierkegaard identifies 6 ways one can lose themselves through despair in his writings on sin and dread. 1). The despair of immediacy. This person loses themselves trying to be another. Like they can change self’s like a coat, oblivious to the unique in each being. 2). The despair of possibility. This basically divides into two forms. The one who chases fancy and the other who chases misery. Both have a vain hope ingredient. 3). The despair of necessity. These are the fatalist who have lost God and themselves. Pragmatist in one sense and yet senselessly pragmatic. 4). The despair of resignation. This is those addicted to the cause of human fortitude. Desperately they want to find themselves but lose it in the events. 5). The defiant despair. This is the control freak who cannot surrender to the actual self in the circumstances but wills to be not their self in the recreation of events. 6). The demoniac despair. This is the one who hates the self and its creator. It prefers to remain in contempt so it can be a witness against God. I’m not certain if every man has touched each of these as I have but I suspect so since every temptation is common to man. What I can say is witness to you in your trials from mine is that God uses these trials to perfect the self. Each form of despair is a path of escapism. When you escape from yourself where do you wander? It can only be one of these variable deserts of despair. I have found a safe haven for myself where these temptations diminish. That is in thankful worship and communion with God. Here myself blossoms and perfects. I don’t want to be another but rather the greatest I can be. Here I find strength to take myself through the trials without fear or desire to escape. What I’m telling your is deep and yet a baby could learn it. Dorean has been tough but I have not lost myself in the journey. I have only become a greater self than he who entered. Exits always want to retard the self but pressing through is God’s plan for us. This is an unchanging maxim truth will witness. Don’t get tired of being yourself, you were called for such a time as this, and so was I.